their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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