i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize