I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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