I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
