She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
