Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
