Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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