We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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