she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
