Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize