Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
