what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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