Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize