oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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