Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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