I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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