It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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