you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
can u get pink eye on your cock?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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