I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
