im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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