is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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