I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
