i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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