Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
