Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
