Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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