He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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