You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize