He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
