it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
