i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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