Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I forget how to act sober
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