Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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