Where are you?
In a non slutty way
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
