you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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