Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
