when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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