I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
