at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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