Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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