Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm like, not good at living.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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