Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
