I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
