that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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