hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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