So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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