He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
