He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
