there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
