Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
