I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
