I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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