South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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