I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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