I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
