areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
