Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
