He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
