i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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