I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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