After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize