another moral hangover. fuck.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
