just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
