it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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