first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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