At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
