you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
