"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
