And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
