At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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