Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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