I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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