thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
