guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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