Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
