My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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