i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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