Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
